MOM

I wear many hats: lawyer, Toastmaster, wife. But the hat that fits me best…is being a mom.

Friends, motherhood, for me, has been a journey of loss and laughter, strength and patience, and of being given chances to make up when I fall short.

I always dreamt of becoming a mom. But my road towards it wasn’t easy.
On May 20, 2013, I was told I was pregnant…then told I would lose my baby. It was my most heartbreaking experience. 

But I realized motherhood doesn’t always mean giving birth; sometimes, it means loving a child you can’t hold in your hands, but will forever hold in your heart.

Years passed, and the dream never faded. I cried every time I got my period or when a friend got pregnant. I tried treatments until I accepted that maybe a child just wasn’t meant for me.But one day, when I least expected it,  I got pregnant again! Despite the bed rest, bleeding, and ultrasounds every two weeks…we made it!
That little miracle is that boy: smart, witty, and with just enough of his mom’s lawyer genes to keep me laughing.

One time, I scolded him for playing too long on his iPad. I said, “If you don’t stop, kusion ta ka ron!” He stopped. A few minutes later, he said, “Ma, the other one nalang oi.” “The other what?” I asked. “Pakusi nalang ko.” He was negotiating his punishment!

Then there was the day I saw him and his friend hitting a frog with a soccer ball. I yelled, “Trystyn! Don’t hurt animals!” His dad added, “Except mosquitoes!”
And he replied, “We just hit the frog because there was a mosquito on top of it!”

Ladies and gentlemen, I rest my case! This boy can definitely crack me up! Motherhood is full of laughter, the kind that  definitely saves your sanity.

*But behind all the laughter are the quiet, exhausting days no one claps for.

When I gave birth, I went back to work just six weeks postpartum. Pumped milk every two hours, then came home to wash, sterilize, and breastfeed. When he finally slept, I worked again to meet deadlines. Exhausting is an understatement. And because we still have no help, after the recent earthquakes in Cebu, I sometimes had to bring him to work or meetings so I could assist him with his online class. Motherhood has no office hours, the working hours never end. I’ve felt tired and overwhelmed, but every time I see how my hard work helps him grow into a smart, confident boy, I’m reminded that every effort is worth it

Because motherhood isn’t about never getting tired, it’s about finding strength and still doing your best, even when you are.

But motherhood isn’t just about strength, it’s also about patience. And mine has been stretched, twisted, and pulled in every direction! I’m a naning mom. Before every exam, even when I’m busy, I prepare his reviewers. But when it’s time to study? Suddenly, he’s thirsty. Then hungry. Then sleepy. By the time he starts answering, fumes are coming out of my nostrils, my big eyes get even bigger, and my voice gets higher until I’m this close to pinching his side! But then I take a deep breath… and practice self-restraint. Hay! Motherhood is full of tiny battles that teach you big lessons in patience.

But the hardest moments aren’t the sleepless nights or the patience-testing study sessions. They’re the times I fail him.

Just last Friday, Trystyn’s school had a Rosary Rally. I didn’t know what time they’d perform, and I got too comfortable watching TV. By the time I got there, it was over. When he saw me, his face lit up  but when he realized I missed his part, he cried. And my heart shattered…because I broke his.

I hugged him tight, and sincerely asked for forgiveness. After minutes of crying, he finally looked at me and said, “I forgive you. But next time, you have to be there, ha?”

That moment taught me,  motherhood isn’t about never failing your child. It’s about being humble enough to admit when you do, and loving so deeply that you’ll do your best to make up for it.

Friends, motherhood is one of the toughest jobs in the world. The hours never end, and your patience is constantly tested. But it’s also one of the funniest, most fulfilling, and most transformative journeys of my life.

I used to think motherhood was about shaping my child’s life. But now I know it’s also about how he’s shaping mine, teaching me patience, resilience, humility, and the beauty of laughing.

And if you ask me who I am today, I’d say I’m softer but stronger. More tired, but more grateful. More chaotic  but more complete Because I may not be a perfect mom, but my son’s hugs and his forgiveness tell me I’m exactly the mom he needs. And that is more than enough.

I wear many hats: lawyer, Toastmaster, wife. But the hat that fits me best…is being a mom.