christina angeli 🌺

After the last ultrasound, Dra. Sabado said that she was worried why the hemorrhage was still increasing despite the medicines that I have been taking. I was also on Prednisone 5, a steroidal medicine that lowered my immune system (thus if I had to go out of the house, I must be wearing a mask), in the hopes of finally removing the hemorrhage.  She was worried I had APAS (Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome), an auto immune disease wherein my body rejects my baby thinking of it as a foreign entity. She increased my dosage of Prednisone to 20mg and referred me to a specialist. I was still required to have bed rest, and another ultrasound in two weeks.  During our first visit to the specialist, she told us to undergo a series of lab works to identify if I indeed have APAS, she wanted it done ASAP to avoid further complications. We asked how much the lab works cost, and she told us around PHP 19,000.00!! Waaah! Wati and I were shocked! I was honestly worried and sc...

It is 2017! New year, new hopes, and exciting days ahead as in several weeks, we would finally get to see our lil mini me/mini Wati! yeah!  January 6, 2017. Our 4th ultrasound. I had my hopes up going to the laboratory. I felt positive that this time, the hemorrhage would be gone, or if not, would decrease even more. But my hopes were shattered as not only was the  hemorrhage still there, it increased in size! (from 4.5ml to 5.9ml despite all the meds) :( Tears welled up my eyes when the sonologist said that the hemorrhage increased..and then cried so hard when I got out of the laboratory. I cried coz I was so frustrated that it was still there. I got so down because I was so hopeful that everything would be ok. I cried coz I got so scared of losing the lil one who we prayed for so long, and who we finally were blessed to have been conceived. So damn scared. I would not be able to take it if it would happen. I ...

I hope you don't mind I hope you don't mind That I put down in words How wonderful life is Now you're in the world <3 I'm writing this addressed to you, my baby love.. Your Song by Elton John was my song for you when I learned, after so long, that I'm finally pregnant with you. And everytime I hear that song, I choke up, because my eyes would tear up, and my heart would feel like bursting because of the overwhelming  happiness of finally having you, my little miracle, inside me...I was already so in love with you even that early, that thinking about it now is making me hold back the tears. :) So two weeks passed with me just lying down in bed. Babe, I felt like a day lasted for more than 24 hours coz I was literally doing nothing. hehe. I have to be honest, I was bored, being one who had so many things to do before I had you. But I'd rather be bored, than lose you, my love. 12.23.16, we  had our 3rd ultrasound to check on the subchorio...

We were told to have a second ultrasound to test for fetal cardiac activity a few days after your first ultrasound. So on December 9, 2016, we excitedly went back to Chong Hua. You were already  6 weeks and 6 days  inside my tummy. And then we heard your heart beat for the first time. I could still remember your daddy looked at me in awe. Your heart was beating so fast. 128 bpm to be exact. Mine was too because of excitement, wonder, happiness and already overwhelming love for you that I got teary eyed. It was such a beautiful moment for your daddy and me. ❤ But the ultrasound also showed I had a subchorionic hemorrhage. 😢 So when we went to our OB, Dra. Sabado, she got worried upon seeing the report. she told me the volume of the hemorrhage was significant. I asked her what was the concern about and she said I was at risk for a spontaneous abortion. That shook me.  If you only knew how scared I was that day I almost c...

12.2.2017.  Baby, I was so excited to see you. I just learned that I was carrying you just yesterday and  I was still in a joyful haze. On this day,  your daddy and I got to see you for the 1st time. We went to Chong Hua early in the morning and there it was confirmed we were having you. You were a small oblong on that screen but you already filled up my whole heart. We could not yet hear your heart beat but you already made my heart beat so fast in anticipation of finally getting to see you in a few months. Your estimated date of delivery was July 30. You were 5weeks and 6 days weeks in my tummy when we first saw you. I fell inlove with you at first sight.

In May 2016, I posted an entry that finally, 3 years after losing my 1st baby, I could finally say I was ok. But the road to being ok was not easy as it was coupled with a raging desire to conceive again, but was always met with the so much frustration everytime I had my period. In my desire to conceive again, we had ourselves checked. I was put on meds, and I took a fertility drug, and Wati had himself checked too. But no baby was formed. And what was worse was that my closest friends were getting pregnant here and there, and everytime I learn that a friend has a lil one growing in her tummy, I could not help but cry and feel sorry for myself. During the summer of 2016, I was determined to get pregnant again. I had myself checked by another doc just for a second take on my condition. And after the 1st TVS, I had my hopes up when I was told I had an egg in my left ovary and had a big chance of conceiving. WEEE!! So the doc had me have transvagin...