christina angeli 🌺

It's mid November, and man am I super busy! So many pleadings to finish on top of being a hands on mom.  I have always been a multitasker but never did I ever imagine that I'd be breastfeeding and spending time with family and working on a pleading all at the same time...in a bowling alley! When we got home, Trystyn was so fussy and clingy and when he fell asleep I pounded on the keyboard again. Exhausted!!! but go lang ng go as this is all for trystyn and his future but #supermom is now a #tiredmom . A few days after, the exhaustion got to me and I got sick. But the thing about being a mom is that it is a 24/7 job and even if you are sick, you still have to be a mom, especially to this clingy baby who would just want to breastfeed while being carried and would wail when I lie down! Waaaa! #supermom is a #sickmom

 I always loved dressing up, and now that I have Trystyn, I couldn't wait to dress him up for Halloween. So for his first halloween trick or treat,Our little dude became Darth Vader! And to top off his costume, the dad made him a space ship. We then brought him to SM Seaside to ask for his goodies 😅 Can't wait for the next halloween and dress him up again! 😃

 Every birthday since I lost my first angel, I prayed that I be blessed with a child...again. 4 birthdays, I prayed, I begged, I cried...until this year because, finally, I have you, Trystyn Thaddeus. And although the last 3 months had been one of little to no rest, there is so much to celebrate because this time I get to celebrate it with you. So off we went to Marco Polo for mom's much needed staycation <3  And another first that deserves to be celebrated is the lil dude's first time to dip in a pool. I was so excited because I got him a ring floater and the lil dude was a natural in the water. and mom and dad were so proud. He swam for less than 10minutes for safety though. starting this year, my birthdays would be even more celebrated, love, because you are my new reason to celebrate. I love you, T and happy birthday to me, indeed.

 I have always been hell bent in breastmilk feeding Trystyn even before he was born. I know that best milk I could give him is my milk full of antibodies that would protect him.  But alas, it was not as easy as I thought.  During his 1st week of life, I was unable to fully  breastfeed him as I had bladder atony and I was under a lot of pain medication. I was too scared that he might be harmed with all the drugs inside my body. So I pumped and dumped. As I said in my previous entry, I was just so lucky I had friends who donated their milk to Trystyn <3 When I was finally out of the pain meds and could finally let Trystyn latch, he wouldn't! It was frustrating 😢 So I pumped milk so I can have something to feed him in a bottle, but was also forced to top up with formula.  And then I had a UTI that required antibiotics that were not compatible with breastfeeding, so the formula use kept on. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against formula feeding, and I always...

When i was on bed rest, i still made pleadings...i was getting the hang of working at home and hoped that after i give birth i can continue doing so so i can stay with T the whole day... But of course i can't do that.. and it has arrived!  And today, 8.16.17, at 6 weeks postpartum, 1st day of work finally came! 😔 It was hard looking for clothes that still fit (twas better when i was preggy, i could get away with wearing anything!haha) But what was harder was the realization that days are coming when i can no longer spend the whole day with him..I was teary eyed when I left the house. waaa...i'm missing T so much already!

July 1, was the day I met my forever love...my son.  <3 But the days after that weren't the easiest for me.  I got to my room at around 12:00 am and they woke me up around 5:00am to go to the nursery to feed Trystyn. I was wheeled to the Nursing area and since it was off limits to males, Wati had to go back to the room.  As soon as I was there they gave me Trystyn who was so small and fragile that I got scared I might not be able to hold him properly. The doctor went in and showed me how to let Trystyn latch and man I never thought breastfeeding was hard until that day! My lil bundle of joy could not latch properly as his mouth was so small and my nips were so huge! 😆 I was not even sure if he was able to get anything as he became fussy a few minutes after. I decided to let him latch on the other breast, but I didn't even know how to transfer him to the other side!  Waaaa! It was difficult, frustrating and and what's worse, the effects of the epidural were alread...

  Motherhood is beautiful but not easy.. The blues are real..not many talk openly about it because of the norm that moms have to always be strong and have no right to feel down..and though i agree that moms have to toughen up but post partum blues are real and most,if not all, moms feel it. Im not talking about postpartum depression...that's something far more serious and scary and something some moms sadly experience... But the blues, yeah they are real..i find myself crying at times that aside from the normal postpartum aches and pains, i had to have bladder atony, that i still have a catheter on that limited my movements and my ability to take care of T, that i have to depend so much on others and most heartbreaking is that my baby won't latch on me when even from the start of my pregnancy i was determined to breast feed.. (but thank God for breast pumps!) The blues they are real.. but it helps that you acknowledge your feelings and not let it overwhelm you too much..it hel...