christina angeli 🌺

 We have been very excited for Trystyn to have his first taste of food. He had been showing interest every time we eat and the Dad and I couldn't wait for that day to come.  Turns out we were not the only ones excited as a day short of being 6 months old, in Tinderbox Banilad, the rest of the family had been egging us to finally let Trystyn have his first solid food!  We were not even able to bring any utensil for him as we never thought we would be serving him his first food in a place out of the house! Since the rest of the family had been so adamant, we asked for a banana, a small plate, small spoon, hot water to sterilize the spoon and plate, and manually hand pressed my boobies to have milk for the food!  And I guess he knew what was to happen as when we held the spoon near him, he immediately attempted to eat! Excited sad and badodoi oi!But when he tasted it for the first time his face turned sour 😂 But when he got used to the taste, he eagerly ate the next se...

 At par with summer time, my other fave season is Christmas time, and this Christmas season is made more special because it is the first with our little miracle in it.  December came in with Trystyn turning 5 months on the 1st.  He just got well from being sick and I couldn't wait for him to feel his best as we celebrate the whole month of the season! The first of the many celebrations for December was my co-associate in the law firm, Jesa's wedding. It was the first time Trystyn attended a wedding. Thank God for gowns that are easy for me to breastfeed! And Trystyn got to attend not just one but two weddings this month. He also got to attend Ninang Dyan's wedding to Tito Ej. I was the maid of honor  and I got to look pretty after the longest time. And since I had to pump while T was away, and breastfeed him once we got together, I had to have a gown made that would be breastfeeding friendly. I had my first menstruation since giving birth and it man it felt like a w...

It's mid November, and man am I super busy! So many pleadings to finish on top of being a hands on mom.  I have always been a multitasker but never did I ever imagine that I'd be breastfeeding and spending time with family and working on a pleading all at the same time...in a bowling alley! When we got home, Trystyn was so fussy and clingy and when he fell asleep I pounded on the keyboard again. Exhausted!!! but go lang ng go as this is all for trystyn and his future but #supermom is now a #tiredmom . A few days after, the exhaustion got to me and I got sick. But the thing about being a mom is that it is a 24/7 job and even if you are sick, you still have to be a mom, especially to this clingy baby who would just want to breastfeed while being carried and would wail when I lie down! Waaaa! #supermom is a #sickmom

 I always loved dressing up, and now that I have Trystyn, I couldn't wait to dress him up for Halloween. So for his first halloween trick or treat,Our little dude became Darth Vader! And to top off his costume, the dad made him a space ship. We then brought him to SM Seaside to ask for his goodies 😅 Can't wait for the next halloween and dress him up again! 😃

 Every birthday since I lost my first angel, I prayed that I be blessed with a child...again. 4 birthdays, I prayed, I begged, I cried...until this year because, finally, I have you, Trystyn Thaddeus. And although the last 3 months had been one of little to no rest, there is so much to celebrate because this time I get to celebrate it with you. So off we went to Marco Polo for mom's much needed staycation <3  And another first that deserves to be celebrated is the lil dude's first time to dip in a pool. I was so excited because I got him a ring floater and the lil dude was a natural in the water. and mom and dad were so proud. He swam for less than 10minutes for safety though. starting this year, my birthdays would be even more celebrated, love, because you are my new reason to celebrate. I love you, T and happy birthday to me, indeed.

 I have always been hell bent in breastmilk feeding Trystyn even before he was born. I know that best milk I could give him is my milk full of antibodies that would protect him.  But alas, it was not as easy as I thought.  During his 1st week of life, I was unable to fully  breastfeed him as I had bladder atony and I was under a lot of pain medication. I was too scared that he might be harmed with all the drugs inside my body. So I pumped and dumped. As I said in my previous entry, I was just so lucky I had friends who donated their milk to Trystyn <3 When I was finally out of the pain meds and could finally let Trystyn latch, he wouldn't! It was frustrating 😢 So I pumped milk so I can have something to feed him in a bottle, but was also forced to top up with formula.  And then I had a UTI that required antibiotics that were not compatible with breastfeeding, so the formula use kept on. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against formula feeding, and I always...

When i was on bed rest, i still made pleadings...i was getting the hang of working at home and hoped that after i give birth i can continue doing so so i can stay with T the whole day... But of course i can't do that.. and it has arrived!  And today, 8.16.17, at 6 weeks postpartum, 1st day of work finally came! 😔 It was hard looking for clothes that still fit (twas better when i was preggy, i could get away with wearing anything!haha) But what was harder was the realization that days are coming when i can no longer spend the whole day with him..I was teary eyed when I left the house. waaa...i'm missing T so much already!

July 1, was the day I met my forever love...my son.  <3 But the days after that weren't the easiest for me.  I got to my room at around 12:00 am and they woke me up around 5:00am to go to the nursery to feed Trystyn. I was wheeled to the Nursing area and since it was off limits to males, Wati had to go back to the room.  As soon as I was there they gave me Trystyn who was so small and fragile that I got scared I might not be able to hold him properly. The doctor went in and showed me how to let Trystyn latch and man I never thought breastfeeding was hard until that day! My lil bundle of joy could not latch properly as his mouth was so small and my nips were so huge! 😆 I was not even sure if he was able to get anything as he became fussy a few minutes after. I decided to let him latch on the other breast, but I didn't even know how to transfer him to the other side!  Waaaa! It was difficult, frustrating and and what's worse, the effects of the epidural were alread...

  Motherhood is beautiful but not easy.. The blues are real..not many talk openly about it because of the norm that moms have to always be strong and have no right to feel down..and though i agree that moms have to toughen up but post partum blues are real and most,if not all, moms feel it. Im not talking about postpartum depression...that's something far more serious and scary and something some moms sadly experience... But the blues, yeah they are real..i find myself crying at times that aside from the normal postpartum aches and pains, i had to have bladder atony, that i still have a catheter on that limited my movements and my ability to take care of T, that i have to depend so much on others and most heartbreaking is that my baby won't latch on me when even from the start of my pregnancy i was determined to breast feed.. (but thank God for breast pumps!) The blues they are real.. but it helps that you acknowledge your feelings and not let it overwhelm you too much..it hel...

My due date was supposed to be July 30, 2017. It was still July 1, 2017. And I was already in the labor room. I only had my rosary, and my massage roller with me. I prayed hard for a safe delivery. In the morning of July 1, the contractions were a bit more frequent but not that painful yet. I had little to no sleep as I was scared, and worried, and the docs and nurses kept checking up on me. Around 10am, I felt the contractions a bit closer but the pain was tolerable. I sat up, walked, and tried to relax. I saw some mommies come and go the delivery room (some shouting some silent like me). Then mid afternoon I could already feel the contractions intensify. And the intervals were nearer. I just held on to my rosary and rolled my massage rollers over my now aching lower back. I would still continue to walk to the cr. When the contractions became intense, i'd sometimes stand up and bend down towards the bed. I would just make deep breaths when the pain became too much. I was so s...

So I had a doppler velocimetry on JUne 7, 2017. A Doppler velocimetry is a way to make sure that the baby is getting a healthy supply of blood. The ultrasound thankfully showed that the circulation of blood was a-ok! Lately I had been feeling more frequent tummy tightening. I could feel it harden real hard..rock hard.. and the vajayjay feels like something is pushing against it and I feel like peeing everytime the it happens :( The visit to the OB confirmed that what I was feeling were contractions and that baby is already ready to come out as the doc could already feel the head has descended. I was still 32 weeks  pregnant! So not yet the time for him to see his beautiful mom.  My doc got worried that I might pop way before baby is full term, prescribed me ixolilan for the contractions and prescribed me to be injected with Betamethasone (Diprospan) to hasten the lil dude's lung maturity in case he might be born premature. the doc put me on bed re...

I've been very excited about my upcoming baby showers. But unfortunately, I could not attend any of them. I have been having contractions, strong ones, and I can feel like bub's head is pushing down may vajayjay. Putting on panties and standing up have become painful down there. So when I had my prenatal check-up last May 16, the doctor confirmed that baby boy has started to descend and contractions were not just practice contractions. :( So she put me on bed rest again for 2 weeks. I was to have another ultrasound after the bed rest to check for my cervical length. I was still 29 weeks pregnant and I got scared! I can't give birth yet! huhuh. So I heeded the advise and cancelled the baby showers and apologized to the big bosses in the firm that I have to be MIA again. I think the contractions were brought about by the stress of attending hearings. hehe. I was not supposed to attend them yet but how can one refuse the bosses when you had been absent for more than 3 months...

 I actually missed the 2 week scans and the 2 week visits to the doctor as now I had to wait a month before I get to listen to baby boy's heartbeat, and a month before getting to see his development inside my tummy. April is about to end. Daddy and Mommy just had their 5th wedding anniversary. Our last "just the two of us" anniversary. :) And the lil pea is on his 27th week (more or less) and my tummy's getting very big that people would think I was about to give birth. Yes it was that big, and yes I got so big, and my nose got bigger (and harder.lol). And my face was full of acne!!! :( Doc said my weight gain and acne were brought about my meds.  I couldn't wait to get off them, but of course I was willing to take them longer if it meant baby will be safer. I also had some days when my tummy would harden. I assumed they were Braxton Hicks contractions or those that they call rehearsal/practice contractions that a mommy feels ...

March had been busy. I finally got back to the office (March 6) after a 12 week hiatus though the Doc told me to avoid hearings as much as possible and just stay in the office during work time. The Guava Republic, my College BFFs met up because our fried, June, came home from Canada. My cute bump   But the best part of my March was my highly anticipated mid pregnancy ultrasound!! I was hungry for one as I had been used to my 2 week scans and doctor check up and it's been a while since I've heard bub's heartbeat and seen his developments. I was very eager in knowing how the baby was doing and very very excited to know if our little bub would be a darling I could dress up in cute pretty dresses, or a sweetheart who'd play football with his dad. So the day came, March 30, 2017. I guess everybody who saw my big nose was right... It's a BOY!!!!! 💙💙💙 And his forehead is as big as dad's (and mom's) hehehe.

After the last ultrasound, Dra. Sabado said that she was worried why the hemorrhage was still increasing despite the medicines that I have been taking. I was also on Prednisone 5, a steroidal medicine that lowered my immune system (thus if I had to go out of the house, I must be wearing a mask), in the hopes of finally removing the hemorrhage.  She was worried I had APAS (Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome), an auto immune disease wherein my body rejects my baby thinking of it as a foreign entity. She increased my dosage of Prednisone to 20mg and referred me to a specialist. I was still required to have bed rest, and another ultrasound in two weeks.  During our first visit to the specialist, she told us to undergo a series of lab works to identify if I indeed have APAS, she wanted it done ASAP to avoid further complications. We asked how much the lab works cost, and she told us around PHP 19,000.00!! Waaah! Wati and I were shocked! I was honestly worried and sc...

It is 2017! New year, new hopes, and exciting days ahead as in several weeks, we would finally get to see our lil mini me/mini Wati! yeah!  January 6, 2017. Our 4th ultrasound. I had my hopes up going to the laboratory. I felt positive that this time, the hemorrhage would be gone, or if not, would decrease even more. But my hopes were shattered as not only was the  hemorrhage still there, it increased in size! (from 4.5ml to 5.9ml despite all the meds) :( Tears welled up my eyes when the sonologist said that the hemorrhage increased..and then cried so hard when I got out of the laboratory. I cried coz I was so frustrated that it was still there. I got so down because I was so hopeful that everything would be ok. I cried coz I got so scared of losing the lil one who we prayed for so long, and who we finally were blessed to have been conceived. So damn scared. I would not be able to take it if it would happen. I ...

I hope you don't mind I hope you don't mind That I put down in words How wonderful life is Now you're in the world <3 I'm writing this addressed to you, my baby love.. Your Song by Elton John was my song for you when I learned, after so long, that I'm finally pregnant with you. And everytime I hear that song, I choke up, because my eyes would tear up, and my heart would feel like bursting because of the overwhelming  happiness of finally having you, my little miracle, inside me...I was already so in love with you even that early, that thinking about it now is making me hold back the tears. :) So two weeks passed with me just lying down in bed. Babe, I felt like a day lasted for more than 24 hours coz I was literally doing nothing. hehe. I have to be honest, I was bored, being one who had so many things to do before I had you. But I'd rather be bored, than lose you, my love. 12.23.16, we  had our 3rd ultrasound to check on the subchorio...